The difference between life and death is literally breath!
In order to be blessed with the gift of life, you will at some point and time experience the pain of physical death. I say physical death because the spirit of a person lives far beyond the physical body is capable of.
Remember, life although a blessing does not always seem fair and likewise death does not discriminate taking old and young alike.
It’s hard not to question those things which you truly do not understand, it does not make you a bad person it makes you one that is hurting.
How you deal with death is a personal thing and likewise so is the grieving process.
No one can tell someone else how to grieve or what an acceptable grieving time frame should be.
Rather we have to understand that there are varying stages of grief and they are not always followed in a logical or sequential order.
Loss of life causes a gaping hole in the lives of those connected to the person.
We grieve not just the loss of life, but sometimes we lose purpose and connection that the person afforded us.
For those who have become caregivers of the deceased, we have to now find something to fill the free time we find ourselves with.
What do we do with ourselves when our days are no longer bombarded with caring for others, doctors appointments, cooking, cleaning and the like?
What happens when we are no longer busy, being busy?
That is usually the time when grief becomes real, after the memorials, funerals and family have all gone back to living their lives.
The grief can be enveloping and if you are not careful, all consuming. It can be the heaviest thing you have ever carried in your life and without a support system, it can overtake and overpower you.
Whether that support system is friends/family, spirituality or faith based, ground yourself in that support.
It’s easy to isolate yourself and feel as if no one else knows the pain of your loss and while all loss is individualized in how it affects you, there are many others that have felt the pain of loss in their lives.
I have learned through the many experiences I have had with death, those occurring naturally and even murder, ranging from miscarriage, childhood best friends, parents, sibling and other family members that the best way to honor a death is to keep or start living a purpose filled life.
Death, if nothing else, teaches us that time is limited and for some it is more limited than for others.
We must live each day with the determination to live our best life. It is the simplest way to honor the love, legacy and spirit of those that have gone before us.
Does that mean we won’t have days filled with tears or intermittent moments of sadness, of course not, emotions and the ability to express those feelings make us intimately more human.
But don’t drown in those depressed emotions, because life with all its twists and turns is a true gift and we must go on!
Time doesn’t truly erase all grief, but it does make it a lighter load to bear!
So brush off the happiest memory you can find from the recesses of your mind and clothe yourself in that memory.
Let the warmth of that moment envelope you and let the smile that it brings act as a light to illuminate all your darkest hours.
Go forth love, laugh and most of all LIVE!!